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My bloody diet!

I'd loved creamy cakes - now it's dreamy vampires...


Published by: Polly Taylor
Published on: 1st June 2010

Easing my tired body into a chair, I took a huge bite of my cream cake and washed it down with a gulp of sugary tea.
‘Delicious,’ I sighed.
I was on my lunch break at the cake shop where I worked, and this was my daily treat. I rarely brought lunch to work. Why would I when I was surrounded by scrumptious things to indulge in?
‘You need to keep an eye on that sweet tooth!’ my husband Colin often said, playfully.
But how could I fight such temptation? Grabbing a freshly- baked cake was quick, easy and, more importantly, tasty.
But Colin might have had a point. Over the years, my uniform had only ever got tighter… to the point where I was now a size 22-24, weighing in at 15st 5lb. I’d tried every diet going though, from Slim-Fast to Weight Watchers, but I couldn’t stick to any of them.
Being big must be in my genes, I convinced myself. Everyone in my family was overweight. Why fight nature? Better to embrace it – and treat myself to a cake or two!
So, having munched through cakes at work, I did exactly the same at home. Colin worked nights, so I was often alone. Well, unless you counted the mountains of food I surrounded myself with! Burgers, crisps, chocolate… I ate it all.
So I was disappointed when, instead of the latest chocolate bar, my friend Emily recommended a book to me.
‘Twilight,’ I read off the front.
It was the first of four vampire-romance novels written by Stephenie Meyer.
‘Isn’t this a kids’ book?’ I scoffed at Emily.
‘Trust me, you’ll love it.’
The next night after work, I settled down to read it…
Two hours later, Colin popped his head around the door. ‘I’m off to work, love,’ he said. But I didn’t hear him – I was hooked, this book was brilliant!
‘Cathy!’ he called, louder this time. ‘You could at least say goodbye, love!’
Before I knew it, I heard the clock in the hallway chiming. ‘Bedtime already?’ I gasped, amazed.
Something else occurred to me. I hadn’t eaten a single snack!
I’d been so involved in the story of the blood-sucker Edward and his human girlfriend Bella, I hadn’t thought about food once. Instead of licking my fingers after cream cakes, I’d been licking them in anticipation of turning the pages!
The next day, I took my book to work and, when my break arrived, I made myself a sugary cuppa, and started reading. All too soon, my hour was up, my tea was cold, and I’d never thought of cakes.
I finished the first book in two days. By the time I’d completed the second one, my trousers felt loose.
I didn’t dare believe I’d lost weight from reading! It was true though – the scales revealed I’d lost 10lb!
That night, when Colin came in, I pulled the front of my trousers outwards to show him.
‘You’ve lost weight from reading?’ he chuckled, doubtfully.
‘Yes, and I wasn’t even trying,’ I beamed. ‘Imagine how much I could lose if I put my mind to it.’
So that’s what I did. Well, quitting cakes couldn’t be as hard a struggle as Edward had giving up drinking blood!
The next day I bought myself the soundtrack from the Twilight movie. Every afternoon I played it while on my cross-trainer, which I’d been using as a clothes horse.
In four months, I lost 3st.
‘I wish I could pay tribute to Edward, Bella and Jacob, one of the other characters. It’s like they’ve become my diet buddies,’ I told Colin, after he’d admired my new figure.
And that got me thinking. What if I got a tattoo of their faces? That way, I’d have a permanent reminder of what they’d done for me. So, clutching my Twilight DVD, I went to the tattoo parlour.
‘I’d like these faces along the bottom of my back!’ I told the artist, pointing at them on the book cover .
A few hours later, I was inked!
Back home, I lifted up my t-shirt to show Colin. I hadn’t told him what I’d planned.
He just rolled his eyes, which is a good thing because I plan to get at least two more Twilight tattoos – this time on my newly- flat stomach!
Cathy Ward, 48, Reading, Berkshire