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Wishes come true

At rock bottom, could I really chnage my life..?


Published by: Jean Jollands & Maggie Morgan
Published on: 19th Januray 2011

Fireworks exploded outside my bedroom window. I could hear people singing in the street, and Auld Lang Syne was blaring from the telly.
It seemed the world and his wife were celebrating the New Year. But each whizz and bang only drove home how sad I felt.
While everyone else was excitedly making plans for the future, mine was going down the pan. Two hours earlier, me and my husband Ray Betts, 38, had split up.
After almost two years together, and plagued by constant rows, we’d finally admitted defeat. It hurt like hell that we hadn’t managed to make it work.
‘Thank God this year is over.
It’s been the worst year of my life,’ I sobbed, falling on to my bed.
Just five months earlier, I’d lost my father Dave, 60, to pancreatic cancer. My tears fell even faster as I remembered how he’d always been there for me.
Eight years ago, when I’d been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a debilitating condition that left me with constant back, hand and foot pain, he’d been my rock.
‘You’re a fighter, my girl. Don’t let this beat you,’ he’d hushed, cradling me in his arms. ‘No matter how bad you feel today, you’ll get through it.’
His belief in me had made me believe in myself.
A 6ft bear of a man, he’d always made me feel safe and secure. But now I was on my own.
Not only that,
my weight had plummeted to 6st – I’d lost 2st from my 5ft 4in frame in just three weeks. I had constant stomach ache, and was now waiting for test results to reveal if I had cancer. So it looked as though the coming 12 months were going to be just as bad as the last lot.
‘Happy New Year…’ I mumbled bitterly, raising an imaginary glass.
Just then, I spotted a crumpled bit of paper sticking out from behind my bedside table.
Suddenly, I remembered what it was, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. ‘My wish list,’ I breathed.
I’d written it six years ago – it was a list of all the things I longed to achieve in life. I hadn’t looked at it in ages, but now I scanned it.
Buy a new car – Move to a new house – Win the Ms Britain title…
Done, done and… not done.
Ms Britain wasn’t some cheesy beauty pageant, though – it was a contest for female figure builders.
It was similar to bodybuilding but, instead of massive muscles, the aim was to look super-toned and feminine. I’d always loved the way the figure builder girls looked.
A year earlier, I’d even begun
the intense training needed, while working as a fitness instructor at a gym. But when my relationship with Ray started going down the tube, my training dwindled and came to a halt.
With a sigh, I read the list again. Open my own pole dancing school – Compete in Ms Pole Dance UK…
I smiled, remembering how my dad and daughters Christina, 17, and Megan, 15, had backed those pipe dreams, too.
The pole dancing I did wasn’t the topless stuff you’d see in a strip club. It was fully-clothed and much more athletic, making the most of the gymnastics training I’d learned as a kid.
Again, though, it had all slowly come to an end as arguments with Ray had drained my energy.
Now, though, surrounded by soggy tissues, I suddenly felt defiant.
‘Dad would’ve hated seeing me like this,’ I said, blowing my nose. ‘Didn’t he always say I could achieve anything I set my mind to?’
It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself. I’d make my wish list come true, and I’d make Dad proud.
‘Back you go,’ I smiled, pinning my list up on the bedroom wall.
Firstly, I had to get my health sorted, so I went back to the hospital to get my test results.
I couldn’t believe it when the doctor said I’d got the all-clear.
‘I-I thought I had cancer?’ I said.
‘No, you’re suffering from severe stress,’ he explained.
‘Maxine, you’ve been through a lot recently, and your body can’t cope with all the sleepless nights and missed meals.’
It seemed the first thing on my list should be to start looking after myself. Over the next few weeks, I forced myself to eat and stop worrying about the past.
Slowly, I grew stronger. It wasn’t easy, but my girls spurred me on.
‘We’re getting our mum back,’ smiled Christina when I announced I was planning to start training seriously again.
‘That’s great, Mum,’ beamed Megan. ‘You’re going to be feeling a million dollars in no time.’
And she was right.
Two months later, my weight was back up to 8st, and I’d enrolled at a gym.
Walking back in there for the first time after eight months felt scary, but nothing was going to stop me finally ticking off my dreams, one at a time.
‘I can do this,’ I told myself, as I slowly lifted a set of weights above my head.
Gradually, I went back to my old regime – eating every three hours, training morning and night.
‘Whoa, Mum! You look amazing!’ gasped Christina when she saw the sexy new me.
Four months later in June, I felt ready to enter the East Anglian Bodybuilding Championships in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk. Aged 39, I was the oldest competitor in the body fitness section. Who cared? At least I was competing.
And as I stepped on stage…
‘Go on, Mum!’ I heard Christina and Megan whoop from the audience. Spurred on, I struck a pose in my sparkly blue bikini.
But had I done enough? I fretted, eyeing the other girls flexing their muscles.
It seemed like I had – I came second in my first competition!
I was finally getting my life back on track.
Next, I turned my attention to number four on my wish list – compete in Ms Pole Dance UK.
‘It’s now or never,’ I told myself, filling in the entry form.
But two days before the competition, my body was wracked with pain when my fibromyalgia flared up.
‘I’m never going to do it,’ I sobbed to Mum.
‘Nonsense, your father would turn in his grave if he heard you talking like that,’ she scolded.
That hit home. ‘You’re right,’ I nodded defiantly.
So, fighting terrible pain, I donned a sequinned skirt, shorts and bra top and swirled around the pole to the strains of Take That’s Rule the World.
‘And in first place…’ the compere announced. ‘Maxine Betts!’
Wow! I couldn’t wait to get a huge red marker out and finally cross off my biggest wish.
I know Dad’s looking proudly down at me and, if it wasn’t for all his encouragement, I might not have ever reached my goals.
And now I’ve achieved something I hadn’t put on the list – I have a new boyfriend!
It’s early days yet, but we’re planning on spending New Year together. It goes to show wishes really do come true.
Maxine Betts, 40, Burnham-on-Crouch, Essex