The porn ultimatum

Why did my boyfriend lie about what he did for a living...?

Published by: Amy Thompson & Tiffany Wright
Published on: 10th February 2011

Matchmakers and subtlety, they never go together really, do they? And that’s how I found myself squirming with embarrassment in front of the hottest bloke I’d ever clapped eyes on…
I was at my mate Kelly’s barbecue, and my eyes had suddenly fallen on a tall, dark-haired stranger. His muscular body rippled through his black T-shirt and, when he laughed, he had the cutest smile.
‘Who’s he?!’ I’d gasped.
‘Who?’ Kelly had followed my gaze. ‘Oh, that’s Johnny. Do you want to meet him?’
‘Of course!’ I’d grinned.
She’d led me across the garden, then said: ‘Johnny, have you met Katherine? Sorry, got to dash, my burgers are burning!’
Then she’d walked in the opposite direction to the burgers. Like I said, definitely not subtle.
‘That was obvious,’ I said, now, embarrassed. He laughed, showing a row of pearly whites. Johnny’s smile was even more gorgeous up close.
‘So, what do you do for a living?’ I asked.
‘I’m a karate instructor,’ he smiled. ‘How about you?’
‘I used to work at a TV station,’ I told him. ‘But I’ve recently started acting and modelling.’
‘Wow!’ he smiled. ‘Sounds much more interesting than what I do.’
I felt comfortable chatting to him. We had a lot in common, even liked the same sci-fi movies and books.
When we swapped numbers, I hoped he’d call, but I didn’t hold my breath. He lived in Bournemouth, Dorset, while I was based in London, a hundred miles way. But the next day, he called and asked if I fancied meeting up at a London nightclub. ‘Sounds great,’ I said.
From then on, we’d spent every spare minute together. I’d never fallen for anyone so fast.
A few weeks after we started dating, he called my mobile. ‘There’s a great bar I want to take you to,’ he said. ‘I could meet you after work?’
‘Sure,’ I giggled.
Things couldn’t be better. As I waited for him at the bar, a thrill ran through me thinking about him showing up all hot and sweaty after karate.
But when he arrived, there wasn’t a hair out of place. He didn’t even have his gym bag.
‘Where’s your stuff?’ I asked.
‘Huh?’ he frowned.
‘Your karate kit,’ I said. ‘I thought you were coming from work?’
‘Oh,’ he laughed. ‘Yeah… I had a shower and left it in a locker. Didn’t want to lug it around all night.’
After a few drinks and dinner, we headed back to his place. I thought Johnny would be proud of being a karate expert, but he was so modest. His shelves weren’t lined with trophies and I couldn’t see his black belt hung up anywhere.
‘Come on,’ I said, a bit tipsy. ‘Show me what you do at work. I’m dying to see your moves.’
‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said, as we climbed into bed.
‘You won’t!’ I laughed. ‘I’m stronger than I look. Besides, you’re a pro. I’m sure you can control yourself.’
‘Not tonight,’ he murmured, giving me a peck on the cheek and turning away. What was up with him?
When we woke up, he was staring at the ceiling, looking worried. ‘
Everything okay?’ I asked.
‘Not exactly,’ he gulped.
My heart hammered. Oh God, was he breaking up with me?
‘I really like you. I can see us having a future together, but there’s something I need to tell you…’
I waited anxiously. ‘Erm, I’m not a karate instructor,’ he said.
‘Okay,’ I replied, relieved. ‘Everyone makes up little white lies when they’re trying to impress. No big deal. I don’t care what you do. You could be a dustman for all I…’
‘I’m a porn star,’ he blurted.
I stared at him, stunned. ‘You’re a… what?!’ I gasped.
‘I make porn movies,’ he explained. ‘I don’t normally tell girls but, well, I love you. I want to be honest. Look…’
He reached for his laptop. An image appeared of him writhing around with a woman. I froze like he’d thrown cold water over me. ‘There’s no passion in it, it’s just a job,’ he said. ‘The director tells us what to do, we just follow orders.’
Yeah, right, I’m sure he didn’t enjoy it at all! His words were drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in my ears. I got up and tugged on my clothes. ‘I know it’s a lot to take in,’ he said,. ‘Let me explain…’
‘I have to go,’ I said, grabbing my bag. Tears poured down my cheeks the entire way home. All this time, while I’d been falling for him, he’d been earning a living having sex with other women!
My answering machine bleeped with messages from Johnny. I couldn’t call him, though. I needed time to think. We’d only been dating for a month. I could move on and forget about him, right?
Wrong. For three days, all I could think about was the four amazing weeks we’d shared. He was perfect in every way – except one. And, no matter how hard I tried to forget him, all I could think of was his gorgeous smile.
By the end of the week, I’d made a decision. ‘I want to make it work,’ I told Johnny. ‘But we need to lay down a few rules.’
‘Anything,’ he said.
‘I don’t want to know about it,’ I told him. ‘No talking about how your day was over dinner.’
He nodded. ‘I need to know you’re being safe, too.’
‘We have sexual health checks every four weeks,’ he said. I winced, as thoughts of him rolling around with other girls popped into my head. Could I do this?
Over the next few weeks, I pushed Johnny’s job to the back of my mind. ‘What if he ends up bringing his work home?’ said my friend Sarah. ‘You’re letting him cheat!’
‘He’s with me because he loves me,’ I said. ‘It’s not a normal job, but I can’t ask him to give it up. I’m the one who’s decided to see it through. If it doesn’t work, we’ll break up.’
Johnny’s always honest with me. ‘What I do at work is for money,’ he says. ‘With you it’s emotional, real.’
After three months, he moved in. We’ve been together four years now. Johnny’s still a porn star but, when we get married, he’s wants to get a job as a film producer.
They say the course of true love never runs smoothly but, somehow, we’ve got it all worked out.
Katherine Bailey, 30, Ealing, London