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Life's never a drag!

Not with a zany hubby like mine!


Published by: Jean Jollands
Published on: 1 December 2011

What is it about the kitchen and everyone congregating in them at parties? I was at a mate's do in Moss Side, Manchester, scoffing nibbles and having a good girlie gossip. But just as I munched on another Twiglet, something a lot tastier caught my eye.
Around 6ft 2in, the slim guy in the corner, in a smart suit and brown trilby hat, was seriously fit. He seemed familiar, too. Then I heard him mention Glastonbury, and it all slotted into place.
‘You were that stuntman on top of a car surrounded by roaring flames,' I grinned. He was definitely looking hot now!
‘That's me!' he nodded, offering me a glass of wine. ‘My name's Joseph Peace.'
‘I was at the festival, too,' I flirted. ‘I'm a professional stilt walker, costume designer, and theatre technician. I was dressed up as Z-girl - a Zebra on stilts!'
‘Hey, I remember you now,' Joseph, 43, nodded. ‘And they put your picture in the Glastonbury magazine. I've got a copy if you want to see it. I only live a few doors away.'
We went back to his and were soon chattering away like old mates - well, it helped that we both had mad professions and were bubbly extroverts.
But also Joseph seemed so caring as he told me about his two sons - Sevan, 19, and Fabian, 13.
We swapped numbers and, over those next days, we were inseparable. I loved everything about him, from his salt ‘n'pepper hair to his tall, sinewy frame. He was so manly too, always doing DIY or practising tricks on his motorbike.
His work involved doing death-defying stunts and dodging flames. ‘Talk about all-man!' I drooled to my mates.
Our relationship moved at madcap speed, too... within five days, I'd practically moved in with him.
A few weeks later, I came home a few hours early from a night out. Letting myself in with the key Joe had given me, the place seemed a bit quiet.
But as I walked into the living room, it was like being punched...
There, sitting on the sofa, was a sexy redhead with massive boobs, squeezed into a tight halter neck dress!
My mouth fell open as I took in her fishnets and eight-inch platform shoes. Who the hell was she? But then I looked again... those feet were remarkably large for a woman.
Hang on, that was my Joseph!
He stood up, tottering on his heels. ‘Er... I think you should, er, sit down,' he stammered, pouring me a gin and tonic as I slumped into a chair.
As he handed me the glass, I noticed he was sporting long red nails and a fistful of sparkling diamante rings!
‘I like to wear women's clothes sometimes,' he sighed. Despite everything, I found myself giggling. I had to admit he scrubbed up pretty well as a woman. ‘Why?' I asked.
‘When I was 30, I went to a fancy dress party in my then girlfriend's dress,' he said. ‘Dressed up in drag I felt more outrageous and more flirtatious. Really expressed myself...'
He'd dressed up again for special occasions and then, the year before, he'd been asked to do a drag act at a club in Manchester.
‘Rosé Lambrini was born!' he drawled theatrically, doing a twirl. ‘She's my alter-ago.'
‘So, do you want to become a woman then?'
He gave me a look. ‘What do you think?' he said. ‘No! It's just that I'm so macho in my job that it's nice to have a contrast. I may come home with cracked and sooty hands but, with my shiny red nail varnish on, I feel better.'
Sitting down beside me, he took my hand. ‘All my family love Rosé, but do you mind?' he asked.
And you know what? I didn't. I knew Joseph wasn't gay. We both simply had a wild, adventurous streak - that's what had drawn us together in the first place.
Over the following weeks, I discovered having Rosé around gave our relationship an exciting new dimension.
When Joseph tried out new costumes around the house, I stared in wonder at the way he'd perfect his tousled red wig, or squeeze into a slinky size 12 dress.
‘I get them made for me specially,' he explained. ‘With built-in boobs!'
It was like having a fun new female friend, and even spiced things up in bed. Rosé was definitely a fruity little number!
We went out to festivals together with Joseph dressed as Rosé. At around 6ft 10in in heels, she definitely attracted attention.
But I was nervy about telling my parents Barbara, 68, and Tony, 70. Six months later, we went to visit them in my hometown of Adelaide, in Australia. Joseph let the cat out of the bag.
‘I also work as a drag artiste called Rosé,' he mentioned.
Poor Dad nearly choked on his cuppa but, within seconds, him and Mum were giggling away. ‘Well... it's certainly erm... different,' Mum grinned, as Joseph showed pictures of him in his girlie glory.
And in June last year, when me and Joseph tied the knot at the local town hall, my parents couldn't have looked prouder. Joe wore a smart suit and I wore a stunning metallic dress. At our reception, we burnt a 12ft-high heart - it symbolized our love and oddball life!
A week later, we returned to the Avalon field in Glastonbury where we'd first met, and wed for a second time. This time, Joseph wore a white polyester wedding dress complete with train and headdress, while I was dressed as Z-girl!
And you can be sure that life with my hubby is never a drag!

Joseph Peace, 43 says: ‘I didn't feel nervous telling Tsubi about Rosé because I realised she was the "anything goes" type!'


Tsubi Du, 44, Glastonbury, Somerset